the stories below are...

... unsourced. In fact, I made them up... so they're probably false... but - you know - they might be true.

1) Martha M, high school classmate of Mitt Romney, recalls that Mitt married his first cousin while a sophomore in high school. She has a copy of the marriage license. A search of court records reveals no divorce decree. The implication is that Romney is an incestuous bigamist.

2) Jonathan K, fellow Law Review staffer with Rudy Giuliani, reports that Rudy was a member of a secret Satanic sect that practiced animal sacrifice and bestiality.

3) Marvin C, former Congressional Page, has a tape-recording of John McCain stating that he would take the Oath of Office as President with his hand on The Protocols of the Elders of Zion.

Now, if these stories are picked up on the Internets, will the Washington Post run a front-page article referring to them only as rumors which the candidates deny?